I’ll be honest, I wrote this because I felt like giving-up. If I’m being completely honest, part of me still wants to. I wanted to give-up being a lawyer, writing, delete this website, delete Instagram, delete my Pinterest, stop working out, I wanted to give up all of the things that made me happy…. I wanted to crawl in my bed and just stay there. Loathing in my self-pity and drowning in ice cream. What am I doing this for, anyway? I thought. I lost sight of my purpose and the bigger picture. My vision was distorted with all of the little stuff. 2019 has been rough emotionally. Still, I made the decision to press on and continue. Here are the 5 things I decided to do instead of giving up. If you feel like giving-up, I hope you don’t. I hope you decide to try these 5 things instead.

5 things to Do Instead Of Giving Up

1. Remember the why

Sometimes it just feels like we are running on a treadmill. Exerting a ton of effort and going nowhere. That’s how I felt. In that moment, I had to take a pause and really think about the why. Why did I start? I started from a place of passion. Has that passion changed? No. So why would I stop? If a momentary feeling of failure is enough to sway me from my passion, then perhaps it isn’t my passion. Real passion is unwavering. It is sort of like an itch on the bridge of your nose that starts after you’ve placed your hands on raw chicken to coat with seasoning, It occurs during a moment of inconveniences and perhaps even forced delays, but regardless you find a way to breakthrough and relive the itch without compromising your meal prep. That itch is your passion. 

2. Remember to celebrate each win.

Midway through my pity-party, I stated to forget all of the things I’ve accomplished. All of the steps I’ve taken to get closer to my goals. If it wasn’t forgotten, it was certainly minimized. It is really easy to forget and accept that dreams don’t come true over night. No. It is the result of smaller goals that ultimately lead to major victories. I, we, can’t minimize these smaller goals. It’s sort of like building your dream home. Each day you drive by the lot and you can visually see a bunch of bricks, drywall, materials, etc. It looks nothing like the vision you had, but each brick and each building phase contribute to the completion of your dream home. Don’t minimize the building blocks, each dream is made of them. 

3. Remember to breathe

The Apple Watch has this really cool feature that reminds you to breathe throughout the day. It’s not on a schedule, it randomly tells you to breathe.  For me, it always seems to happen when I need it the most.  It is amazing the difference that is felt when we take 5 minutes and just focus on our breathing. I am instantly calmed, collected, and grounded. Regardless of how I felt, I am armed again to tackle the world, if only for a while. 

4. Talk to a really good friend

We do not exactly work the same way that mirrors do. Sometimes it is difficult to look into ourselves and see who we truly are. A good friend will enforce you and try to build you up. A good friend will redirect your focus and remind you of all of your wins, even the perceived small ones. A good friend will not let you give up. Even if that means coming over with a bottle of win and some chocolate. 

5. Positive affirmations.

Law school was difficult.  The bar exam was difficult. One of the key ways that I was able to pull through was with positive affirmations daily. I had them written on my mirror and I read as I brushed my teeth. I wrote notes to myself. I would take a moment and repeat those positive words before the clock started for all of my exams. This is how and why I passed. For whatever reasons, I gave up this trend post law school. I forgot the power of positive affirmations, honestly.  We all know that repetition is the best way to learn and the best way to improve. Positive affirmations are continuous  repetitions geared towards changing your mind to think positively. It works. 


6. Retail therapy ?

If all else fails, resort to online  or in-store shopping. Spend all your money shopping and then complain about not having any money ! Sometimes, this is actually my favorite sport lolol. If I want to shop in-store, I will browse through TJ Max looking for home decor, shoes, clothing, and skin-care products. They also have an online store now and I am sure I will cause damage there. The sky is the limit with retail therapy lol. 

If you’re reading this and have thought about giving up, I hope you reconsider. 

5 things tp do instead of giving up.

— Esquire in Love



  1. Tabatha Barron
    March 23, 2019 / 11:09 pm

    Thank you for this message. 2019 has been a very difficult year so far for many and a lot of us have forgotten to take stock in where we have been. This was a great reminder

    • sophia
      March 24, 2019 / 10:37 am

      Happy you enjoyed and it was helpful ??

  2. March 24, 2019 / 1:29 pm

    This is a great post! Yes, to celebrating each win no matter how small we perceive it to be. I use affirmations daily to keep up the positive vibes!

    • sophia
      March 24, 2019 / 2:09 pm

      Thank you so much ! And yess those two things are extremely helpful ????

  3. Brennen Jones
    March 24, 2019 / 2:50 pm

    All of what you said is so true.

  4. Kasha j
    March 24, 2019 / 9:03 pm

    Good read. I agree to all of the above.

  5. Tabitha
    March 24, 2019 / 9:17 pm

    Wow this is great between work and being a full time mom I’m trying my hardest to not give up on blogging and all these reasons I know will help me! Great tips thanks

    • sophia
      March 24, 2019 / 10:32 pm

      Thank you !!please don’t give up, you’re doing amazing

  6. Miguel Rodriguez
    March 25, 2019 / 8:00 am

    Wow i absolutely love this piece it was straight to point and inspiring to anyone who thought pf giving up….

    • sophia
      March 25, 2019 / 8:04 am


  7. March 26, 2019 / 12:47 am

    I love this! Thanks for sharing! We have all been there, I know I have, but there are def alternatives to giving up

  8. Aja Symone
    March 26, 2019 / 12:56 am

    I needed this! It’s so easy to walk away but even harder to stay and fight. ?

  9. March 26, 2019 / 1:53 pm

    This is a really good post. So many of us feel that same way at tines.These are practical tips that I’ve tried and has worked.

  10. March 27, 2019 / 9:42 am

    Thank you so much for this article. It is really important that we do not give up. Thanks for being an encouragement to others

  11. Sandy Baudoux
    March 28, 2019 / 10:08 pm

    This post really hit home for me. Sometimes you just hit a wall but I know your tips are going to greatly help me and others.

    • sophia
      March 29, 2019 / 7:32 am

      Thank you ?

  12. Syed Atif Ali Shah
    March 30, 2019 / 1:21 pm

    Great stuff sharing these. Really needed something to motivate a friend

  13. April 2, 2019 / 2:27 pm

    Great advice for anyone needing a push back toward life.

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