I’ll be honest, I wrote this because I felt like giving-up. If I’m being completely honest, part of me still wants to. I wanted to give-up being a lawyer, writing, delete this website, delete Instagram, delete my Pinterest, stop working out, I wanted to give up all of the things that made me happy…. I wanted to crawl in my bed and just stay there. Loathing in my self-pity and drowning in ice cream. What am I doing this for, anyway? I thought. I lost sight of my purpose and the bigger picture. My vision was distorted with all of the little stuff. 2019 has been rough emotionally. Still, I made the decision to press on and continue. Here are the 5 things I decided to do instead of giving up. If you feel like giving-up, I hope you don’t. I hope you decide to try these 5 things instead.
1. Remember the why
Sometimes it just feels like we are running on a treadmill. Exerting a ton of effort and going nowhere. That’s how I felt. In that moment, I had to take a pause and really think about the why. Why did I start? I started from a place of passion. Has that passion changed? No. So why would I stop? If a momentary feeling of failure is enough to sway me from my passion, then perhaps it isn’t my passion. Real passion is unwavering. It is sort of like an itch on the bridge of your nose that starts after you’ve placed your hands on raw chicken to coat with seasoning, It occurs during a moment of inconveniences and perhaps even forced delays, but regardless you find a way to breakthrough and relive the itch without compromising your meal prep. That itch is your passion.
2. Remember to celebrate each win.
Midway through my pity-party, I stated to forget all of the things I’ve accomplished. All of the steps I’ve taken to get closer to my goals. If it wasn’t forgotten, it was certainly minimized. It is really easy to forget and accept that dreams don’t come true over night. No. It is the result of smaller goals that ultimately lead to major victories. I, we, can’t minimize these smaller goals. It’s sort of like building your dream home. Each day you drive by the lot and you can visually see a bunch of bricks, drywall, materials, etc. It looks nothing like the vision you had, but each brick and each building phase contribute to the completion of your dream home. Don’t minimize the building blocks, each dream is made of them.
3. Remember to breathe
The Apple Watch has this really cool feature that reminds you to breathe throughout the day. It’s not on a schedule, it randomly tells you to breathe. For me, it always seems to happen when I need it the most. It is amazing the difference that is felt when we take 5 minutes and just focus on our breathing. I am instantly calmed, collected, and grounded. Regardless of how I felt, I am armed again to tackle the world, if only for a while.
4. Talk to a really good friend
We do not exactly work the same way that mirrors do. Sometimes it is difficult to look into ourselves and see who we truly are. A good friend will enforce you and try to build you up. A good friend will redirect your focus and remind you of all of your wins, even the perceived small ones. A good friend will not let you give up. Even if that means coming over with a bottle of win and some chocolate.
5. Positive affirmations.
Law school was difficult. The bar exam was difficult. One of the key ways that I was able to pull through was with positive affirmations daily. I had them written on my mirror and I read as I brushed my teeth. I wrote notes to myself. I would take a moment and repeat those positive words before the clock started for all of my exams. This is how and why I passed. For whatever reasons, I gave up this trend post law school. I forgot the power of positive affirmations, honestly. We all know that repetition is the best way to learn and the best way to improve. Positive affirmations are continuous repetitions geared towards changing your mind to think positively. It works.
6. Retail therapy ?
If all else fails, resort to online or in-store shopping. Spend all your money shopping and then complain about not having any money ! Sometimes, this is actually my favorite sport lolol. If I want to shop in-store, I will browse through TJ Max looking for home decor, shoes, clothing, and skin-care products. They also have an online store now and I am sure I will cause damage there. The sky is the limit with retail therapy lol.
If you’re reading this and have thought about giving up, I hope you reconsider.
— Esquire in Love