A young woman exploring her life as a professional and as woman who loves.
I’ve heard the best way to truly know you’ve found the one is to travel the word with him. Well tomorrow my love and I will embark on this journey. We will be traveling to Athens, santorini, and Venice. Hopefully we will be able to take Day trips to different cities as well. I will try to continually keep updates about our trip rather than one large post at the end. Stay tuned guys and travel with me through my words.
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And oh, it is my 28th birthday!!
–esquire in love.
So, it’s wedding season. I’m not exactly sure who dubbed this season as wedding season—but I don’t make the rules. My brother proposed to an amazing woman and they will be getting married in September. With all weddings comes the bachelorette party! My soon-to-be sister-in-law invited me to partake in her bachelorette festivities. The destination was Punta Cana, Dominican Republic. When I initially learned of the destination I was hesitant. My hesitiaton stemmed from all the negative things i’ve heard and read about how Dominicans have historically treated darker skin people and people of Haitian decent.
What I learned was one should never let the opinions or even experiences of others define your own views and perceptions. The island was absolutely beautiful and the people were very welcoming. There were some people that were rude and tried to scam us, but they accounted for a small minority of who we actually encountered. Punta Cana was different than other islands. Specifically, I’ve noticed that on other island the people speak english. In Punta Cana, Spanish was truly the language of the country and it was difficult finding an someone to translate.
Lastly, my favorite part was the diversity of tourist. We met people from all of the world enjoying the island just as we were. Be young. Be free. and travel.
–Esquire in love.
This is my experience in my young career as a black attorney. I suddenly found myself in a place where I owed an ethical obligation to my client which heavily conflicted with my morality.
I walked into the conference room confidently and boldly with my client by my side as I signaled him to take a seat. I then signaled to the court reporter that we were ready to proceed with the deposition. My client was sworn in and the proceeding shortly began. It was a typical deposition with typical questions. I objected when I needed to and stayed silent when I needed to. As I began to feel the deposition about to come to an end, I began to feel relaxed and anxious to leave. Then it happened, I was sandbagged with racial slurs. Opposing counsel began on a series of questions which caught me off guard. He would repeat racist quotes then ask my client if he ever said those words to anyone. He was vague with the questions and the source of the quotes. Opposing counsel repeated the racial slurs several times. After each time, I felt myself shrinking into my seat. I was in a room full of white men who made it their mission to make sure I understood that I represented a person who hated people that looked like me. My client denied ever uttering the words and immediately stormed out. At the conclusion of the deposition, my client expressed to me that he was upset because he felt as though he was made out to be racist and that he wasn’t racist. I was fine with that and I could have accepted that. Then he said, “I dated a beautiful black woman before.” Anyone who has a meager sense of “wokeness” understands that this a horrible way to explain that you are not racist.
I do not tell this story to say that suddenly I realized that race in America was a real issue. No. Unfortunately I have dealt with much worse forms of blatant racism that was directed towards me. In fact, my earliest account of pure racism was in kindergarten at age 5. I tell this story to show what many of us young black professionals encounter in our daily work lives. I think that some of us, myself included, want to desperately believe that because we are educated with careers that we are beyond racism. But that isn’t how racism works because racism isn’t personal–its about the color of you skin and nothing else.
In the most spontaneous series of events, a group of 8 women and 2 men decided to pack their backpacks and board a flight to Havana, Cuba. Cuba has become America’s forbidden fruit. While most americans are either hesitant or fearful to travel to Cuba, particularly because of lingering fears from the historical “red scare” followed by a a travel ban, I was not ever fearful. Rather, I was quite the opposite. I was excited mainly because I have family roots in Cuba but also because of my love for travel. The flights were low, the flight was short, and the airbnb was reasonably priced. It was extremely doable to take a weekend trip to Cuba, spend little, and not take a day off from work. So in all actuality, I can meet my billable goals and explore a foreign country. Work hard play hard, call me the travel savvy esquire!
There are not enough descriptive words in the english dictionary to properly explain the remarkable beauty that is Havana. It was as if the airplane was a time machine and we were transported to the 1960’s and everything was left completely untouched. Havana is uncorrupted from the modern day travesties that are both a gift and a curse. There are no GPS systems and yet with only a mere address the taxi can take you to your exact destination. The buildings were colorful and beautiful. The streets of Old Havana are paved with stone. Actually, to be a bit more relatable, it was as if the time machine took us back to old Miami. The Miami that was before the greed of money and high rises corrupted it.
As an island girl, I thought Havana would be just like any other island. Small, tropical, and beautiful sand. To my surprise, Havana was so much more. There were so many moments when I walked down the streets of Havana and felt as though I had been dreaming. None of it seemed real. I guess it was hard to imagine a city without the pollution, traffic, rudeness, litter, and people too occupied with their phones that they can’t say hello.
Havana is breathtaking, it is fun, and it is absolutely beautiful.
This year I spent/ NYE in city that neither sleeps nor disappoints-New York City. What is even more special is that I spent NYE with the same person I entered year 2015 and year 2016 with. Being with him has taught me so many different things about myself, him, life, love, and careers. That, however, shall be reserved for a different post.
Much like every NYE I love to reflect on the past year and predict the upcoming year. I’m sure you all have seen the countless memes about how awful 2016 was. While I did have some downs in 2016, I certainly had a lot of ups. The negatives of 2016 defined me and the positives made me the happiest I’ve ever been.
The beginning of 2016 was particularly difficult. I went through and experienced a situation and an emotion that I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy (however deserving they may be). I will refrain from divulging into the details–at least for now. This experience showed me the true powers of the heart and love. Love, actually, does conquer all. I think as a woman, it is important to differentiate when we act out of love verse when we act out of desperation. As a 27 year-old woman, I have been fortunate enough to have learned myself, to have understood myself, and to have loved myself. Because of this, I was able to differentiate between love and desperation.
In 2016, I developed the confidence to grow into my career. I walked into the courtroom with confidence and spoke with conviction. I tried my first case as second chair and I was a natural. I won my Motion for Summary Judgement, I mediate and settled lawsuits, I was a real lawyer-so to speak. I no longer felt like that lost little girl in a profession dominated by men or rather the good ole boys club.
In 2016, I purchased my very first home. I did it on my own. This, I believe, was my very first act of adulting ( I know, I hate that word too). My home is beautiful, i decorated it in pintrest galore. I made it my own because it is my own.
In 2016, I traveled more. I went to Mexico, California, Las Vegas, D.C., New York, Atlanta. In 2017, the list will expand.
I am looking forward to 2017. As an adult, I’ve learned that although every year we may experience some negativity, we may hurt, we may be disappointed, those moments do not define us or our year. Those moments are temporary and only offer small snippets of our experience. When we choose to focus on these mishaps we start to feel as though our year was terrible. It wasn’t, darling. Yes, things may not have gone how you imagined but so what? You may not have accomplished all of your goals, but you accomplished some of them, and that is what matters. The progression matters not the completion. So as I stated last year, this year and the years to follow will be about progression not perfection.
It’s been two years. Two years with you, two years together. It’s absolutely amazing what you can learn about a person when you really pay attention-rather when you want to pay attention. I’ve wanted to pay attention for two years now, and I suspect my attention span with you knows no limit. I can feel you when you’re closed in and I can feel you when your vulnerable. I love you both times.
About a month and a half ago I made the ultimate adulating decision, I decided to stop throwing my money down the drain in rent and purchase my first home. I decided that I needed to do this on my own, that I need to feel and be an independent career woman who make a move on her own. You know, I didn’t do too bad. Although not my “dream home” its close enough. I managed to check a majority off of “must have” list. New construction, granite throughout, stainless steal, hardwood floors, garage, covered screened path, trey ceilings, and a massive walk through shower. It can only get better from here, right?
