Blog, life, Work

Punta Cana: Views from the other side

So, it’s wedding season. I’m not exactly sure who dubbed this season as wedding season—but I don’t make the rules. My brother proposed to an amazing woman and they will be getting married in September. With all weddings comes the bachelorette party! My soon-to-be sister-in-law invited me to partake in her bachelorette festivities. The destination was Punta Cana, Dominican Republic. When I initially learned of the destination I was hesitant. My hesitiaton stemmed from all the negative things i’ve heard and read about how Dominicans have historically treated darker skin people and people of Haitian decent.

What I learned was one should never let the opinions or even experiences of others define your own views and perceptions. The island was absolutely beautiful and the people were very welcoming.  There were some people that were rude and tried to scam us, but they accounted for a small minority of who we actually encountered. Punta Cana was different than other islands. Specifically,  I’ve noticed that on other island the people speak english. In Punta Cana, Spanish was truly the language of the country and it was difficult finding an someone to translate.

Lastly, my favorite part was the diversity of tourist. We met people from all of the world enjoying the island just as we were.  Be young. Be free. and travel.

 

–Esquire in love.

 

Blog, Work

The Adversity of the Black Esquire

This is my experience in my young career as a black attorney. I suddenly found myself in a place where I owed an ethical obligation to my client which heavily conflicted with my morality.

I walked into the conference room confidently and boldly with my client by my side as I signaled him to take a seat. I then signaled to the court reporter that we were ready to proceed with the deposition. My client was sworn in and the proceeding shortly began. It was a typical deposition with typical questions. I objected when I needed to and stayed silent when I needed to.  As I began to feel the deposition about to come to an end, I began to feel relaxed and anxious to leave. Then it happened, I was sandbagged with racial slurs.  Opposing counsel began on a series of questions which caught me off guard. He would repeat racist  quotes then ask my client if he ever said those words to anyone. He was vague with the questions and the source of the quotes. Opposing counsel repeated the racial slurs several times. After each time, I felt myself shrinking into my seat.  I was in a room full of white men who made it their mission to make sure I understood that I represented a person who hated people that looked like me. My client denied ever uttering the words and immediately stormed  out.  At the conclusion of the deposition, my client expressed to me that he was upset because he felt as though he was made out to be racist and that he wasn’t racist. I was fine with that and I could have accepted that. Then he said, “I dated a beautiful black woman before.”  Anyone who has a meager sense of “wokeness” understands that this a horrible way to explain that you are not racist.

I do not tell this story to say that suddenly I realized that race in America was a real issue. No. Unfortunately I have dealt with much worse forms of blatant racism that was directed towards me. In fact, my earliest account of pure racism was in kindergarten at age 5.  I tell this story to show what many of us young black professionals encounter in our daily work lives. I think that some of us, myself included, want to desperately believe that because we are educated with careers that we are beyond racism. But that isn’t how racism works because racism isn’t personal–its about the color of you skin and nothing else.

 

Dreams, life, Work

Leap of Faith or Push of Faith ?

I’ve always heard people say that a person will never feel ready, but rather a person must be willing to take a leap of faith and go after their dreams. After all, fear isn’t real. Fear is something that we internalize. Fear is something that is made up. We fear because we imagine things and scenarios that may never come into existence. Fear is actually caused by the unknown. I’ve also heard that when a person desires something the whole universe conspires to give it to them. So what happens when a person desires something but fear precludes them from taking that leap of faith?

Then, I suppose a person would experience what I like to call a “push of faith”. A push of faith occurs when a person is forced to follow their desires instead of waiting for the right moment. After all, there never really is a right moment.

As I start attracting  my first few clients, I realized that maybe this was a “push of faith”. I had this dream, but in my mind  I needed several things in place before I actually set out to fulfill my desires.  I was often, and still am, very fearful. But I truly believe this was a push of faith because I was scared to take that leap.