Blog, Work

The Adversity of the Black Esquire

This is my experience in my young career as a black attorney. I suddenly found myself in a place where I owed an ethical obligation to my client which heavily conflicted with my morality.

I walked into the conference room confidently and boldly with my client by my side as I signaled him to take a seat. I then signaled to the court reporter that we were ready to proceed with the deposition. My client was sworn in and the proceeding shortly began. It was a typical deposition with typical questions. I objected when I needed to and stayed silent when I needed to.  As I began to feel the deposition about to come to an end, I began to feel relaxed and anxious to leave. Then it happened, I was sandbagged with racial slurs.  Opposing counsel began on a series of questions which caught me off guard. He would repeat racist  quotes then ask my client if he ever said those words to anyone. He was vague with the questions and the source of the quotes. Opposing counsel repeated the racial slurs several times. After each time, I felt myself shrinking into my seat.  I was in a room full of white men who made it their mission to make sure I understood that I represented a person who hated people that looked like me. My client denied ever uttering the words and immediately stormed  out.  At the conclusion of the deposition, my client expressed to me that he was upset because he felt as though he was made out to be racist and that he wasn’t racist. I was fine with that and I could have accepted that. Then he said, “I dated a beautiful black woman before.”  Anyone who has a meager sense of “wokeness” understands that this a horrible way to explain that you are not racist.

I do not tell this story to say that suddenly I realized that race in America was a real issue. No. Unfortunately I have dealt with much worse forms of blatant racism that was directed towards me. In fact, my earliest account of pure racism was in kindergarten at age 5.  I tell this story to show what many of us young black professionals encounter in our daily work lives. I think that some of us, myself included, want to desperately believe that because we are educated with careers that we are beyond racism. But that isn’t how racism works because racism isn’t personal–its about the color of you skin and nothing else.

 

Esquire Glam

Night of lights and Satin Jumpsuits

We spent our anniversary attending the first night of St. Augustine’s famous night of lights celebration. The entire city is illumined by thousands of Christmas lights–its absolutely beautiful. True to the form of a hopeless romantic we enjoyed the show via horse and carriage tour. The girl who grew-up obsessed with Cinderella had to ride the horse and carriage of course. We ended the night enjoying dinner at the restaurant where we celebrated our first year anniversary. I jokingly insisted that since this was our second anniversary here, then it is unofficially our tradition. After all, we generally mean what we joke about it–right?

 

Hair: pressed bone straight by me

Make-up: Light beat by me.

Outfit: Satin Jumpsuit in ivory from J-Lux

Necklace: Black lace chocker from Aldo

Shoes: Steve Madden nude

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Writer

I became a writer, or at least I believe I am, because I do not know any other way to express myself. I’m a lawyer. My job is to argue in front of judges, mediators, and sometimes my clients to convince them to agree with my understanding of law and facts. I am damn good at doing that, I like to call myself young Cochran. :).

When it comes to work, i am a verbal goddess. When it comes to voicing my opinions on social and political issues, I am very persuasive. I am engaging when it comes to casual talk. These are not my issues, I am able to fully express myself using carefully selected words.

When it comes down to matters of the heart, I forget how talented I am with words. My only real recourse in expressing my emotions is to put pen to paper. It is as if I become truly awakened when my finger tips begin to glide across the illuminated keypad. My mind is suddenly quite and my thoughts are sorted out.  I am writer, because it’s healthy for me.